Currently listening to:Under my skin by Rachel Yamagata
Status:–
Hi guys
There are two points to this post exactly, one being a self indulgent and obsessive rant about my strong feelings towards a certain breed of insect and the other being a sponsored announcement about something that will appeal to the masses of blogshop owners who are making money via fostering youth entrepreneurship in the local scene, as opposed to myself, who, you know. Sits at my computer screen and rambles. That was not the point. Anyway.
1.
In a conversation last week,
C: “Jem you cannot just plonk yourself down in random fields in the middle of the night ok you need to stop it”
Me: “yes i ca-CHALLENGE ACCEPTED”
C: “It wasn’t a.. ok nevermind.”
Friday night/Saturday wee morning hours saw me sprawled in the middle of a field in school, staring at the sky- it sounds a whole lot more psycho when you type it out like that but i assure you, the sky was spectacular that night. All the stars were out, twinkle twinkle and all that. I was there for over two hours and could not find it in me to leave.
Unfortunately i wasn’t the only one. Am not talking about the couple i scared (accidentally) but seriously what were they doing there at 3am right. See the irony right there. Ok moving on.
The entire place was PREGNANT with mosquitoes. Ok, scrap that. Not Mosquitoes. A different breed. NINJAQUITOES. I didnt even realize they were there till i left and found eleven mosquito bites peppering my legs and wrists. WRISTS. And i thought i was being all genius and stuff by youtubing Anti Mosquito Sounds and letting it loop on the mac but NO IT DIDNT WORK.
I cannot even begin to describe my hatred for mosquitoes. I know its a very un-christian-like quality, this intense and undiluted hatred i feel for them, when i am supposed to love all of God’s Creatures, but lets just say that if you walk up to me and tell me you are an activist promoting mosquito causes or rights or something i might punch you in the face and shout BITCH PLEASE LET THEM DIE JUST LET THEM DIE. And i would be ok with that. That is how much i hate them.
I see no conceivable purpose for their existence besides possibly forming a grotesque cautionary tale to your future children as in, DO NOT BE PROMISCUOUS OR YOU WILL BE TURNED INTO/REINCARNATED AS A BLOOD SLUT IE. MOSQUITO. (cue voiceover from Coach Carr, Mean Girls, gym teacher who says DO NOT HAVE SEX BECAUSE YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE) Although come to think of it, in a modern context the phrase blood slut could be misconstrued to mean a certain Twilight character aka the McCullens .. i keep digressing and i must stop.
I hate mosquitoes so much i actually went to google ‘what are mosquitoes good for‘ and found this which basically surmises that they’re the deadliest insects on earth but they also make great fish food and have been around long enough to be used in the same sentence as fossil which is kind of cool so who cares about dying a slow prolonged and itchy death as long as its by the handbite of a prehistoric insect right?
k i added in the last part. but i hate mosquitoes so much i don’t even.
anyway yes i am all gross and stuff now because of all these red bites. Worth it for the sky that night? Yes. Worth it for the endless comments ie. hey jem, did you know that you have a bunch of huge mosquito bites on the back of your leg? why no, i didn’t notice, thanks for the enlightenment. I’m still thinking on that one.
Next semester i am returning with a luggage full of OFF! and Bay-freaking-gon, watch out stupid little bloodsluts THIS IS WAR i am going all Armageddon on your tiny asses and you started it. Hasta La Vista, baby.
2.
ok now that that’s out of my system.
the part most of you would have been waiting patiently through my righteous anger and rage for (and for which i thank you):
This thursday, 1st December, Candle launches their boutique as a launchpad to your own blogshop physical sales! The concept is simple enough- you rent a rack from them and display your own self-manufactured designs/imported designs.
Some of you may be familiar with them: Candle also has their own retail and wholesale clothing line, and provides studio and photoshoot services, and the rental of space is a fairly new initiative, capitalizing on the fact that they’re already relatively well established and racks rented from them would be given pretty good ‘air time’
So.. yes. Call them for more information! For all you budding entrepreneurs, this is a far more affordable alternative to setting up shop in an actual mall, so do give it a think through 🙂
x
♥jem